Phoenix Wright: Goffik Attorney
by Peoplepersonsof DooM
Summary: Phoenix is a goff and sets out on his journey to be the best goffik lawyer there is. But not everyone likes goffs. Will he achieve his dream to be the very best that no one ever was against those stupid preps, posers and haters? If My Immortal met Phoenix Wright.
1. In Da Beginnin

AN: Hai guys thx for reading you rox! Im just expeminting here, so dont be too harsh!

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My name is Phoenix Wright and Im a defence aterney. I have pale white skin cuz i put on a bunch of fundation everyday with losts of black eyeliner. My heir is jet sable and covering my brown eyes a little bit and its spiked in the back. I have a lip piercing too. I where a balck suit with a red tie since ima a layer duh (its kinda like how Gerard way wuld dress. If u dont no who he is gtfo!) Im a goff obviusly and I hate prepz.

Today is my first case. I have to defind my friend Lerry buttz sinse hes being blamed for a murdre he didnt do. Hes always had bad luck, but I knew he could never hurt anyne. To be honest hes kind of a bitch.

I was in the defence lounge waiten. Suddenly, someoen called me.

"Pheonix?"

"Ah!" I truned around. It was my boss mia. She was berry pretty. Her skin was pale two. She had ruby orbs, black eye shawdow, long black hair wiff red tips, and black lipstikc. She was goffik and a vampire. She whore a black dress with blak combat boots. "You scured me."

"Are you ready for your trail she asked

"I think so." I said. I was nervous so i took out my razor blade and started slittin my wursts to feel better.

"You are so cool to take a murder as your first case."

"really?

"Yea its so sexoyy" she winked at me sneakily liking her lips

"MAAMA MIA!11"

In a second we were making out in the lobby. Her tongue was done my thoart and I felt her boobs pressing into my chest I was just about to rip off her dress until…..

"Nickkkkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyyyy!" it was laury. He was also pale with dark umber hair cut swishly over his dark eyes. He was dressed like a punk.

We stopped. "Gooddamnit lorry! you ruined the mood"

"But it was reminding me of my lawtifah!" he moaned slashing his wrists. "You gotta find who cilled her!"

"I will dont worry"

"COURT IS STARTING" yelled the balif guy from the court room.

I swalloed it was time. we walked thru the doors…

To be continued!1


	2. Fist Trial!

AN: Thx 4 readin! Dis chapter is gunna git real!

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Ch. 2

We walked into the court and stood on our side of the room. I breathed hard. Peole were watching from da crowd.

Their was some guy stadning across from us who tried to look tuff. He had a bright red pleather jacket with a bunchof spykes in it with a Sum 41 tshirt on. He had skin tight jeanz and white platform shows with a gary mokhawk.

Tha joodge looked like santa except he was buff and wore a black tank top showig off his muscles and tatoes. He had a shinee bald head and a long wheit beard with thick rimmd glass and perced eyebrow. he was kinda hot, but ew that's a gross not like I like old santa class like men. Im not gay btw, im bi. Theirs a diffrence.

"Hallo rookie, I am wince pain ready to bring …...…THE PAIN !"

"Whatevr" I sed pissily.

"Don't worry about him hes a poser to da max" mia said. "Hes not goffick at all"

"Oh okay"

"Mr. right?" bombed the voyce from the joodge.

"Y-yessir?" i squished back

"This is your frst trail yeah?"

"Yeah"

"Okay are you ready cause I diont want to deal wiff bumfuckery in my court"

"I think Im set" I said as I stared to sweat blood.

"Kay then who was cilled, how were they cilled and whoss on trale?"

"Uh…"

Mia smacked me. "Pheonicks! Dint you check the courtrecord?!"

"The fuck is a courtrecord?! I never listned to that cd before."

She groaned nd not in the sexi way. "No, dumass it's were we get the facts from in a case!"

"Oh" I decided I had better check it. I found a giant folder that sed COURT RECORD on it nd opened it. It had a bunch of info in it thet looked important so I looked at it fr a second sine I have a photographic memory

"Well?" hissed the joodge as he lit up a cigerate.

"The vitctim is lawtifah bon qui qui Johnson she was killed wuth a knife and my clientelee is Laury Butters."

"Kay good. Mr. pain your stats?"

Pain laughed like a dolphin. "Its easy the defendant stabbed her"

"Really? Fuking murdere!" screamed the jodge. "He should fry! fry!"

"Objextion!" I spat. "He didn't do it!"

"Well I cant argue wiff that." Said the jodge putting out his cigarete on his head.

"I have disive edidence that will prove the defendant did it! "

"Then lets have it I don't have all day I have to watch my por- I mean movies"

"The prosecution would like to call the dafendant to stand!" laughed pain minutely.

Within secs Lurry was standing at the stand in front of the whole corut.

"Mr. But? How long did you see miss johnson"

"A few months"

"Did you know she was fking another guy behnd your back?"

"WHAT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooo" he cryed crying miazaki tears. "IF SHE WASNT DED I'LL KILL HER MYSELF"

The courtroom gaped.

Larry began cutting himself on da stand.

"Infection!" I yelled pointing at pain. "This isnt about da murder at all"

"Yeah." said the joodge. "This isnt devisie"

Pain grunted. "Fine. "

"Hes bery emotional" said mia.

I sighed. "I know. thats why theres no way he could doit"

"Okay, well you were at the appartment. We have a witness who can show you were there at the time of the murdre!"

The court was alive.

The joodge banged his gavel. "Call the witness den!"

Larry left still stifling and bleeding. And some other smiliy loking guy in a majenta suit got on the stand.

"State your name and professionalisticalism." said pain.

"Im Stew Seamen and I sell knives"

"Your testimony puleeze."

**Witness Testimony**

_I went door to door looking for costomers._

_I saw that guy walking outta room._

_When I got there the door was opend sorta so i knocled_

_And omg I saw a dead gurl lying dere in blood_

_I tred to call the policia but the phones were dead _

_I ran out to call them_

"You can crisscross examine the wintess, defense." said the joodge bored.

"Um okay" I said not knowing what to do.

Mia explined. "You need to find his lies and throw evidence at it"

"Oh my i didnt know he lied"

"Unless Loarry did it he is"

"Oh shit" i had to do for it larry!

**Cross Eximinition**

_I went door to door looking for costomers._

_I saw that guy walking outta room._

_When I got there the door was opend sorta so i knocled_

_And omg I saw a dead gurl lying dere in blood-_

"HOLD IT" I screamed. "Did u c any weapon around?"

"No, nothing besides some knife"

"OBJECTION!1" I got him. Lying fucker! "There was no knife at the crime scene bitch!"

He jumped causing his hair to jimp witt him. "But- but she was stabbed! Right?"

The judge took out his flask and took a swig. "Hmmmmmmmmmmmm true but it doesnt explain how you saw a knife wehn there was none found"

Pain was sweating mking his mascara drip everywhere. "He heard it in here! yeah!"

"Oh okay that makes sense sed the joodge

"Dammit" i said. "Well what did you really see?"

Seaman began

_I saw an ugly paperwait nearby in blood _

"Hold it! This peice of junk?" i held up the gray stateu thing.

"Yeah! that thing..."

"Okay im getting bored mr rite this witness doesnt seem to know shit so if you cant give us something to talk about im going home"

"Oh noess!" i cryed. I am so close i can feel it

"Think outside the circle phenix!"

"What?"

"I dont know i make shit up and thats how i win my cases"

"Oh okay"

I was sweatin blud proficiently. I needed something...anything...

"fuck this desperate house wives is one i declare the defendat g-"

"HOLD UP!" i yeled. "Mr. Seaman! you said something bery intersting erlier."

"What...?"

"You sell knives! That's why we couldint find da murder weapon!"

"NOOooooooo that's ridiculous!"

"Yeah! Why would he kill her?!" Pain whined

"Uh, because she wouldnt...buy them!" I rmembered the random useless shit in the courtrecord. "she was goin to paris, so why would she need knives?! Plus it was durk since da paower was out so u took advantage of dat by killin ger!"

The whole courtroom was in awe.

Mr. Seaman was foaming white at the mouth. Ew. "I DiNT DO IT! ITS COINCIDENE I DINT DO ITTTTT!" he moaned flingin his here in my face.

"EWWWWWW! NASTAH YOUR LUCKY WERE ALREDY IN COURT OR ID FUCK YOU UP"

The joodge banged the gavel.

"Okay ive seen enuff. The defenadt is...

To be continuedddd!


End file.
